The Perfect, Proper and Pristine life of Petunia
by PoppyPotter
Summary: All Petunia Evans ever wanted was the perfect life but with a sister like Lily Evans perfection was hard to come by. Petunia's life from childhood to "perfection".


_**The perfect, proper and pristine life of Miss Petunia Evans**_

Petunia Evans had been born with soft blond hair and pale white skin, the nurse who had handed her over to her waiting parents had remarked that she looked just like an _"angel"._ She had been a quiet baby, never making a fuss; she rarely cried and at a young age began to take a keen interest in tidiness. Rose Evans would proudly tell her friends how _her_ daughter made sure to put every single toy away. In fact, Petunia would spend more time tidying her toys than actually playing with them. All in all, Petunia was a sweet child and when her mother and father had sat her down explaining she would soon be getting a brother or sister, she had smiled.

She had then nodded seriously, eyes furrowed in concentration as her parents explained just what being a big sister would mean.

"Petunia darling, you'll be a big girl by then and it'll be your job to make sure the baby's ok" her mother had smiled as she stroked her hair; "and you'll teach her everything you know" her father had added with a smile of his own.

Petunia Evans nodded at her parents words and prayed the baby would be a girl_; how nice it would be to have a baby sister!_ She wouldn't need to play with her dolls then, she could do the babies hair and they could play together on the swing and they'd make tents out of blankets just like her cousins did.

Excitement filled the little Petunia and she spent nights dreaming of the things they would do; the baby, however, took simply _ages_ to come along. When she did, for it was a girl like Petunia had wished, the baby had been nothing like little Petunia. She had a shock of red hair that her parents had marvelled at and had inherited the emerald green eyes of their grandmother, her cheeks had been dotted with red freckles and Petunia would have lying if she said she didn't feel an itch of jealousy at the sight of parents cooing at the red headed bundle, wrapped in pink blankets. The baby, who they named Lily, was not a quiet, soothed baby as Petunia had been, rather Lily Evans cried a great deal when she was hungry or when she was tired or when she needed anything. Her anger, which her parents put down to her red hair, was volatile and small things could set of a fierce cry, her little hands in fists. Naturally, this meant Lily demanded a lot of her parents' attention, in fact even when she wasn't crying, her beautiful eyes and her flaming red hair glinting in the sun…it was all something to be admired.

Despite this temper, however Lily had a soft heart; she cared a great deal for everyone and strove to do anything to make her elder sister and her parents happy. She was the type of child that stopped to stroke a cat, whilst Petunia stood sniffing at the side. She paused when they walked in town to listen to the music the man busking was playing; Petunia on the other hand would wrinkle her nose in disgust and pull her younger sister away. All in all, the two sisters were very different, Petunia was known to keep her composure, Lily however was known to do everything fiercely; if she disliked something, she loathed it and no one could change her opinion but if she loved, she loved with her whole soul and those lucky enough to have this love of hers would find that she would go to the ends of the earth to make them happy.

No matter their differences, the sisters were close and Petunia Evans lived a happy life; her young sister grew to admire her and looked up to her with wide eyes; Lily would do or believe whatever Petunia said and Petunia in turn would look out for the young green eyed girl. She shouted Lily when she ran across the road, telling her to look then walk and argued fiercely with Margery Wells for saying Lily's hair made her look like her head was on fire. Life was not perfect by any means, they still had to make do with hand stitched clothes and Lily could be, at times…strange but life was good for the young Petunia Evans; her grades were average, if not above, her behaviour was model worthy, she did not run havoc in the schools playground and returned home every afternoon her blond hair straight and her uniform, unlike Lily's, crease free.

Yes, Petunia Evans was happy with her life but the thing about happiness is that it doesn't always last. Petunia Evans had thought she would be best friends with her sister forever, she thought that she would be happy forever but life had other plans and with the arrival of one boy everything began to change.

**oOo**

His name was Severus Snape.

He had slick black hair that framed his sallow face and dark black eyes that looked as though they belonged to someone much, much older. Petunia hated him from the moment she had saw him, he was the Snape boy, the one from the part of town even worse than theirs. And Petunia who had, even her childhood, an ear for gossip knew his father to be a drunk and his mother a rude woman who paid no mind to her own appearance.

Petunia Evans did not need anything else to form an opinion of Severus Snape, his appearance, house and the gossip of the women at the local chippy was enough for her; Severus Snape was not worth their friendship and so she, like she did to so many others, turned her nose up at him.

Unfortunately, Lily did not agree with Petunia on this particular issue; yes, at first, she stayed away from the sallow faced, thin boy but curiosity grew within her and then one day they spoke. That day marked for Petunia, the beginning of the end of her relationship with her sister; you see, Severus Snape had the ridiculous notion that Lily was indeed, a witch and rather than scoffing or running away Lily had accepted his words as truth.

So suddenly it was Snape that Lily ran out to play with and it was Snape that Lily listened to her and Petunia was pushed to the side, no longer the one her sister wanted to be with. Resentment built. Anger built. But not at young Lily, no Lily was innocent thought Petunia, Snape had trapped her with words of a magic world and Lily, sweet Lily had fallen for them…all she had to do wait and then, when no letter came it would Petunia that Lily ran to, Petunia that Lily complained about Snape to.

But you can't plan your own fate.

And one day in the July after Lily's birthday a knock came and with it a women dressed in tartan and a pointed hat.

Lily was a witch and Petunia with her perfect composure and perfect blond hair suddenly went into a fury; that day, when Lily ran to Snape to break the news and her parents gushed in pride, Petunia stomped to her room and cried and screamed and threw a picture of her and Lily on to the floor; the glass crashed on impact but Petunia did not care; for once, her emotions were in control. Laying on her bed the tears poured down her face; Lily was going to this wonderful and magical place and she was leaving her, Petunia, behind. Why couldn't she go with? Why was it only Lily?

She sniffed before making up her mind and ripping a page from her pink notebook began to write. When she was finished, she smiled, folded the piece of paper and decided she would post it tomorrow. Satisfied she glanced at the mess in her room and suddenly ashamed began to meticulously clean it. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad, maybe she would go with Lily, maybe they would share the same dorm and become best friends again…maybe.

Time ticked on.

Life revolved around Lily; they needed to buy Lily's new books and Lily's new uniform and it was all about Lily's new school and just how talented Lily was and Petunia with her immaculate behaviour felt something strange and hard coil into her heart, she ignored it for the most part but then the reply came, the reply to the tear stained letter she had sent to that stupid school.

She couldn't go.

Professor Dumbledore was very sorry but there was nothing they could do, though of course, she should remember she was still _very_ special.

The monster within her grew, anger surfaced at every glance of Lily and soon in her mind Lily Evans became not her sister but a freak; it made sense, thought Petunia, that they would take her to this weird school, Lily was weird she did things that people shouldn't be able to do; she was a freak of nature, she deserved to be in a cage or in some circus show for freaks not at home with them. It was a blessing thought Petunia, that Lily was going, a blessing; who wanted a freak in the house anyway?

But behind the anger and jealousy and bitterness, there was just a little girl who was confused and scared and hurt. They say it's easy to break a relationship but hard to fix. They're right. It was easy for Petunia, at the realisation that her perfect life wasn't so perfect, to glare and sneer at Lily, to taunt her with harsh words and reject every apology.

It was harder to forget and forgive. She wanted to, she really, really did want things to go back to the way they were; she wanted her sister back. When she failed a maths test it was Lily she wanted to fearfully beg for help from, when she had her first kiss it was Lily she wanted to gush about it to and when suddenly, she began to see her faults in every part of her appearance it was Lily who she wanted to reassure her.

But Lily wasn't there.

She never was, not when Petunia decided she really needed to diet, not when her parents stayed up worrying about debts, not when their mother was diagnosed with cancer. And then when she was there, it was all Lily; _"we missed you Lily",_ this about Lily, that about Lily and the fact the Petunia had been there was somehow, all forgotten. So she didn't do what she really wanted to, she didn't hug Lily or smile or laugh at her jokes and when Lily came home after her fifth year and Petunia could read the sadness in her eyes, she did not try to comfort her.

It was all too hard and all too late.

**oOo**

Time went on, like it always does. Petunias life was far from perfect but then the opportunity from heaven came; a chance to go to London, to be independent, the perfect course awaiting her. In truth, she wanted Lily to be there, so they could together be excited about her new found freedom but Lily had left years ago; she had escaped Cokeworth and now it was Petunias turn.

It would be great, she had thought, the perfect life. And it was. She made new _suitable _friends, all in _good_ jobs and _good_ courses, with the _right_ type of backgrounds and the _right_ kind of lives. They were all inexplicitly normal; exactly what Petunia wanted and needed.

But best of all, the move to London introduced to Petunia the manly and very normal Vernon Dursely, a young executive who though boring to most people captured Petunia with his opinions on everything and anything. He was exactly what the young Petunia had yearned for; completely and utterly normal. He was, in her opinion, the epitome of a perfect man with his perfectly average looks and perfectly average ambitions.

She was hooked.

And a couple of months later on a visit to Vernons perfectly normal parents when he bent down on one knee and proposed properly and perfectly, Petunia in her pretty pink dress did not hesitate one minute. It had been a day she had been waiting for for months and Petunia could hardly contain her joy; this was what life was supposed to be like, she thought, this was perfection.

But in this bliss of perfection, there was one small problem.

_Lily._

What if, heaven forbid, Lily came home turning tea cups into rats in front of Vernon? She shuddered at the thought, would he forgive her for lying about her sister?

And so one day, after a date to the cinema she told him and he listened silently staring at her the entire time. He was shocked, of course, astounded, disbelieving and she watched as his face first went very pale and then slowly redder and redder. She sat in silence, waiting for the inevitable storm, hate for Lily bubbling under her skin; her sister would have to ruin this for her, just like she had ruined every other happy memory.

But Petunia was wrong.

Despite how shocked and stunned Vernon Dursley was he did not blame his fiancé for her sisters' faults and told her so. That night elated and full of joy Petunia realised her life, really was perfect. For the first time in years she was happy, life was exactly the way it should have been; her days were spent planning her wedding and meeting Vernons family; she had never felt more special or more loved.

Had her mother been alive, she would have spent hours awake telling her of her happiness but her mother was gone and with an ache she knew the only other person who she really, really wanted to tell was Lily. For the first time in seven years, Petunia wrote Lily a letter; it was long, covering nearly three sides of paper, she told Lily of how she had met Vernon, how wonderful he was, how he proposed and how she had never been so happy and then when she spilled every ounce of joy, she paused and began to think of her little red-headed sister, who had run in the park, jumping high of swings, making flowers do unnatural things…

"_Things will never be the same between us Lily, it would be ridiculous to think so but I think we should at least be civil. We are no longer children, and for dads sake at least I think we should make an effort- besides, I dread to think what Vernon's' family would say if my sister did not attend the wedding. On that note, there is one other thing I wish to say- Vernon has been very kind to me, he has accepted you despite __your, __despite the way you are so please, please do not do anything that will embarrass him, me or yourself when you return home…_"

Satisfied Petunia told her father to send the letter; there was no way she was going near a damn owl. Two weeks later, Lily arrived and with it her new boyfriend James Potter. For one whole weekend, Petunia pushed Lily's abnormality to the back of her mind and for the first time in years the two girls were sisters.

But nothing lasts forever.

And the next night, a double date set things off; James Potter was despicable, and the fact Lily could tolerate the messy haired boy made Petunia hate her sister more. Filled with anger and determined to have the perfect wedding Petunia decided Lily would not be a bridesmaid; she would not have a mad woman in her wedding and it was only with her father's pleading that she decided not to tell Lily not to attend at all.

Some relationships can be mended, some can't. Petunia Evans became Petunia Dursley in the most perfect of weddings. It was all perfectly normal and average and pretty. She walked to Wagner on her father's arm and ignored her sisters' face in the crowd. In fact, it was only whilst she was dancing that she got a proper look at Lily; she was dancing with Potter, her head back as she shook with laughter, James laughed too before pulling her into a kiss. Petunia sniffed before turning back to Vernon.

She did not know that would be the last time she would see Lily.

Her sister and James left early and Petunia too busy did not greet her; she was too happy to concern her-self with her sister. Where years ago, she had yearned for Lily, missed her even now she only cared for Vernon, she had a new life, one Lily was not part of. The next year was filled with blissful oblivion, Petunia decided not to work and instead contented herself with being the perfect housewife; her house was always spotless, the lawn perfectly mown, dinner always cooked before Vernon arrived home. He had started his own business, she would tell anyone who would listen, Grunnings, yes, it was doing quite well…

The world around them was strange at that time; deaths and kidnappings were more and more frequently gracing the covers of newspapers and the weather seemed perpetually dismal but Petunia and Vernon did not concern themselves with these problems of the nation; the murder victims probably did drugs, the kidnaps most likely faked, the government was ridiculous and blamed for all the problems they faced. They lived happily and cosily in their own world, complaining about everything and gossiping about everybody and when a small white and yellow trimmed wedding invitation came in the most, they both laughed at the quality and the font and decided instantly that they would not attend.

Before she threw the card into the bin, however, Petunia glanced at the date; 25th November, ridiculous time for a wedding. She had no desire to attend, none at all but nevertheless on the 25th November Petunia climbed into her attic and pulled out a small box filled with photos; she stared at the pictures of her and Lily, arms around each other, both faces smeared with ice-cream. There was one of her holding a pink bundle, she smiled at that; she had been so happy, so excited when Lily was born… _"Congratulations, Lils"_ she whispered into the darkness, before putting a hand over her mouth as though shocked at her-self. Quickly straightening out her dress, she packed the photos back away neatly and made her way downstairs. When Vernon returned from work, the house was pristine, Petunia was immaculately dressed and a hot plate of food was awaiting him.

**oOo**

Happiness is different for everybody.

For some, happiness means success, wealth, materialistic possessions, for others happiness is doing what they love, fulfilling their purpose, then there are those who believe happiness is completely unattainable; it's impossible, they'll say, to be completely and utterly happy.

Petunia Dursley was happy. She was married to a man she loved, they had perfectly suitable house in a good neighbourhood and they had a son, a son who she would, if she had to, die for.

Petunia Dursley was happy. For once in her life she was not over shadowed by anybody or anything, she had nothing to be ashamed of and lived a perfectly normal and uneventful existence, just the way it should be. Her correspondence to her sister was limited to a Christmas present, which was, really, just an attempt to make sure Lily knew just how well Vernon was doing with Grunnings. The present she received from Lily, she noted, was much cheaper.

When Lily sent a note informing her she had given birth to a baby boy, Harry, Petunia had sneered at the common name and decided Dudley would of course be much happier and successful than the freaks child, in fact, Harry probably _was_ a freak.

Petunia Dursleys life was completely perfect, proper and pristine until the second of November 1981 when she opened her front door to find a baby boy on her doorstep.

There was a letter.

Lily, she learned, had died on the night of the 31st October 1981. She had been murdered, her and James both by a dark wizard. He had tried to kill Harry too but Lily, Lily had sacrificed herself for the boy and he had, miraculously, survived. According to the letter in front of her, he would only be safe as long as he stayed with her. She had sunk in the kitchen chair at that; Lily was dead, dead, Lily, _dead, dead, dead!_

Had she been happy? Or had she been suffering in misery these past few months. She thought back to Lily and James dancing at her wedding. It was the latter, of course, thought Petunia; how could her sister have been happy with a mad murderer after her?

The baby cried and Petunia stood to look at it; he had her eyes. That was all that registered; he had her eyes and then hate swam in to her; him, her sister had died for him. She shuddered, she had promised her parents she would protect, protect her sister, look out for her, teach her but she had failed. She had let Lily go to that freak school, she had let her marry that good for nothing Potter, let her choose that stupid, freak world and it had killed her. That world had killed her. Potters son had killed her. She had killed herself. She had a choice and she made the wrong one and now she was nothing but a still, white, cold body.

If Lily had been alive or if Petunia had mastered the courage to attend the funeral she would have heard how Lily Potter was the happiest woman on the world, she would have heard of her sisters' laughter and her smile. She would have learned that even though Lily had had to live in hiding she had been happy because yes, maybe her husband wasn't Mr Neat and yes, she had a mad man after but she also had Harry, her son who lit up her life and James who loved her and took all the pain away and Remus and Sirius and Peter and a whole host of friends who loved her and whom she loved.

But Petunia would never know and never understand.

_(She had never tried to.)_

**oOo**

They kept the child of course, she told herself it was only for her parents and not the red headed, green eyes girl that had chased after her as a child. It was one of the only times she had went against Vernon's wishes, she could not put the boy in an orphanage but that did not mean she loved him or cared for him. She treated him like the dirt under her shoe, which in truth, was what she saw him as; a stain on her perfect, proper and pristine life.

**oOo**

When he was nearly seventeen and she stood near a door ready to leave, she looked into his eyes; emerald green, just like his mothers, just like her sisters. There had been many things she had wanted to say then; _thank you for saving Dudley, good luck, I'm sorry, I failed her, I failed my parents but I loved her you know, your mother, I love my sister, I miss her…_

She said nothing, of course.

Instead, she walked out and closed the door on him, just as she had done to her sister more than twenty years before.

**A/N; Hi! I've been working on this for a long, long time and it didn't really come out the way I wanted it to (things hardly ever do) but I hope you enjoyed it! Please review :D**


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